New Research On How Partners Cope With Mismatched Desire

Lasting Sex

Sex is an important part of a relationship and probably the most intimate activity that sets lovers apart from just being friends. In a lot of relationships, the physical attraction to one another seems to decline within the course of time and sex life becomes less exciting and sexual activity less frequent. It is not unusual for couples that sexual desire is not the current drive anymore as the relationship might have shifted into another phase where priorities have changed, however, it is important that both partners have the same understanding about the decrease of desire so as none of them would feel either neglected and rejected nor guilty of desiring less intimacy.

It is common that men have a stronger sex drive than women, who tend to need a longer build up for sex as they respond to their partner’s desire, which arouses them and finally turns into intercourse.

Sex therapists say that a lot of relationship issues revolve around the differences in libido between the male and female partner. Researchers have investigated on these issues that they call sexual interdependence dilemma, focussing on couples with distinctive differences in libido. They found that partners, who have the tendency of a higher sex drive, would be more likely to engage in sex to satisfy their partner’s needs, even if they were not really in the mood. A lot of them even stated that the relationship actually benefited from the sexual act as they felt good about pleasing their partner.

Another reason why sex life might have slowed down is when children are added to the relationship, hence couples are more willing to make things work and focus more on each other’s needs. Happy couples will know that there can be ups and down in a relationship and that sex is important but not everything that makes a relationship satisfying. It is well known that humour turns women on and a lot of couples will find their way back under the sheets if they are laughing together.

last longer sex

The intimacy caused by nonsexual closeness might still end up in the bedroom. Other couples will choose to live apart. As divergent as it sounds, a life away from each other means, they don’t share as much time anymore thus meeting the partner makes the relationship more exciting again. In a study, some couples said they needed more time apart which can be introduced by each one taking more time for themselves such as doing sports after work, a girls night out once a week or the occasional visit to a bar. Being apart and not sharing every part of each other’s life’s can feed sexual desire.

A mismatch in desire can be the cause of unhappiness within a relationship and eventually lead to a breakup, as often one partner feels unsatisfied and the other under pressure to meet the needs but is often the one controlling the frequency of sexual activity. Women often say that after some time things become a routine in the bedroom and they feel they are not valued and paid attention to as their partners might want to rush things. There is a certain vulnerability when it comes to intimacy and some men might be afraid to let go as they have intimacy issues. Being open with the partner is the key to any healthy relationship. Especially when someone feels rejected the problems can build up beyond the issue of having less sex than desired.

In some cases, men rush to having sex when they have a sexual health issue. It is very common for men to develop a condition of premature ejaculation when under stress and the problem not to able to last longer will make them either afraid or rush things. Talking about it will strengthen the relationship and if the condition continues there are great doctors to talk to as there are a number of premature ejaculation solutions to treat the condition.

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About the Author: Varun Rana

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