Premature ejaculation is something that often happens but is rarely discussed. When it occurs, men may be too embarrassed to talk about it, so they shut down instead. This can leave their partners feeling neglected in addition to the frustration of having their own pleasure curtailed. Let’s look at a few things you didn’t know about this phenomenon.
It’s not what you think it is
Many people assume that premature ejaculation is the inability to bring a woman to orgasm through ‘normal sex’. They think it shows a lack of stamina or a lack of sexual skill, but this isn’t always the case. The premature ejaculation is medically defined as uncontrolled climax which leads to ejaculation. It happens a few seconds after sexual penetration, or it may result from minimal sexual stimulation, including touch, visual stimulus, or even mental activity.
It can happen to anyone
Premature ejaculation doesn’t just happen to teenagers or shy guys on their first ‘sex date’. It can happen with partners who have been together for decades. Because there are so many causative factors, it can be triggered in men of any of any age, race, cultural background, or sexual orientation. Every man has experienced it at one point or another, whether he was with a partner or by himself, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Partners often blame themselves
When premature ejaculation takes place during coupling, a partner will often take the weight on themselves. They will feel the partner that came early doesn’t find them attractive, or that they lack the skills to keep their partner erect and turned on. The situation can get tense because the partner that ejaculated feels like they have under performed, while their partner feels rejected and inadequate. It can be a hard bridge to gap.
Relationship factors can come into play
It’s generally assumed that women are emotional creatures while men are more logical and action-oriented, especially in the bedroom. When a woman is upset, she probably won’t want to have sex, but men are assumed to work off their anger and resolve arguments using sensual means. But men can be emotional too, and if things aren’t right outside the bedroom, it can affect their performance. A man who feels guilty, upset, or resentful towards his partner may have a hard time establishing and maintaining sexual arousal with that partner.
It’s not just for old men
Another assumption is that premature ejaculation is something that only happens to older men. It’s incorrectly taken as a sign of sexual decline, but that’s not all there is to it. Just ask any hormonal teenager. While age does affect virility and stamina, it’s not a given. Premature ejaculation has many causes, and age is just one of them. It can happen at any time, in any situation, and in any age bracket. Even professionals performers occasionally come early.
It’s not always in his mind
Many times, premature ejaculation is caused by psychological factors like stress, anxiety, depression, and tension, but it’s not always the case. Uncontrolled ejaculation can also be a result of physical injuries or medical conditions. Diabetes, thyroid issues, prostate problems, and multiple sclerosis can all affect a man’s ability to maintain an erection. It may help to talk to a doctor and see if the causes are medically induced, so they can be treated.
There are exercises to resolve it
A lot of men ejaculate prematurely because they haven’t learned how to delay their orgasms. With practice, there are techniques that can make them last longer in bed. Breathing exercises can help to slow down their erectile reflexes. Tantric exercises and kegels improve penile control, while mindfulness can be useful. Some men distract themselves from their rising levels of stimulation by reciting the alphabet backwards or listing statistical data like presidents or sports personalities. It helps them maintain their erections longer periods.
Eating right can make it better
Obesity is one of the factors that can cause premature ejaculation, so adopting a healthy diet can reduce your chances of coming too early. Food-based aphrodisiacs like oysters, nuts, and watermelons are often prescribed, but they don’t necessarily work. However, foods that have high levels of antioxidant properties can improve your blood flow, which can indirectly lengthen the duration of your erection. Drinking naturally unsweetened fluids can help too.
Partners can help to prevent it
Many times, men will try to resolve their ejaculation issues on their own. They want to save face and may feel they have failed their partners. However, partners can help, both psychologically and sexually. While discussing the issue directly may feel like an attack, you can help your partner by ironing out tangential issues like guilt and poor communication. Once you’re in bed, pay attention to his body and let him tell you when he’s overstimulated so that you can slow down or pull back. This could help him hold out a little longer.
It’s not the end of the world
For many men, premature ejaculation is a direct blow to their sense of manhood, but it doesn’t need to be. Explore your options and find the source of the problem at Speak Loud. If it’s psychological, you can talk it out. If it’s emotional, love and support will soon perk things up. If it’s medical, talk to your doctor. There are multiple solutions available nowadays. When you’re ready to find them, all you have to do is ask.